Veg jokes

KHATARNAAK DOSTI

Boy was late to reach home.

His father "kaha tha tu?"

boy- "Friend ke yahaa tha."

Father called his 10 friends.

4 answered:

"Haan uncle, yahi par tha"

3 answered:

"abhi just nikla hai"

2 answered:

"yahi hai uncle, Pad raha hai...phone du kya".?

1 ne to had kar di

He Answerd:

"Haan papa, bolo kya hua?"

HEIGHT OF COURAGE: senior student during ragging says: in your marrige i will kiss ur wife.

junior:fine bt i will marry ur sister.....

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"le ab le le

Diff. B/w commerce & science que..

Comm:-wht is ur name ?? (10 marks)

Science:- wht is ur name & why? Give reason. Does it suit ur personality? Derive an expression for its alphabet? Criticaly exmine it? Define its principle and working? Explain it properly with the help of a labelled diagram? (2 marks)

Dr. to patient's frnd: Agar 1 ghanta pehle le aate to hum isse bacha lete

Frnd:Abe aadhe ghanta pehle to accdent hua hai 1ghanta pehle kaise late?

I studied bt nvr topped, today toppers of bst Universities r my Employees.

(Bill Gates).

Bas...Yahi statement mujhe TOP

karne se ROK deta hai.

DATE SHEET aa gyi h, tayari shuru kr do.

7Feb- Rose Day

8 Feb-Propose Day

9Feb-Chochlate Day

10Feb-Teddy Day

11Feb-Promise Day

12Feb-Hug Day

13Feb-Kiss Day

14Feb-Valentine's Day.. 

Mahatma gandhi ne shadi se pehle kasturba gandhi ko love letter likha:

DEAR KASTURBA

JAAN I LOVE YOU

Tumhara

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"*"BAPU"*"

Kaisa lagta h jab

Braste pani me

hawa k jhoko k sang

Khamoshi se chalte hue

Koi apka hath tham k haule se keh de..

Niche "GOBAR" h zara dhyan se..

Apni dosti koi PEPSI nhi jo dil mange more , NIRMA Nahi JO pahle Istmal kro fir viswash karo, APNI DOSTI TO L I C Hai , zindgi KE SATH B ZINDGI KE Bad B 

Height of FALTOO MSG-

Bus Stop Pe Log Bus Ke Intezar Me Khade The.

Faqeer aya, Sabse Bhik Li Aur

Taxi me Beithkr Chala Gaya

Great Man..!

Arz kiya hai ke "samundar me water,water me fish. aapko namste or aapki girl friend ko kiss. Mmmmmmuuuuuuuaaaaaahh." Maza aa gaya. Kal fir arz karunga...

Invigilator- why are you stressed? Did u forget ur ID? ur roll no.? Pen? Calculator?

Student-o chup kar ja... mai galat subject ke farre le aaya..:-;-):

( o.o)

(o.o )

( o.o)

(o.o )

( o.o)

Nigahe Aaj B Us Insan Ko Talash Kar Rahi H,Jisne Kaha Tha...

B.tech kr lo.. Bada scope h...!

Life while doin engineerin..

1st yr:

yahoo i'm in engg. collg!

2nd yr:

Kahan phas gaye?help me!

3rd yr: ahhh,soon it'll be over.

4rth yr:

yesss,i did it! i luv myslf!

Wait a min!

Smthng is missin

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Ailaa!! Meri 'jawani'.. 

Hm diye pr hath rkh k ksm khate h ki Hm nxt sem se regulrly clases lgaenge

Prpr notes bnaynge,

Internal papers denge

O teri bhn di aankh!

DIYA HI BUJH GYA..!

Government of india ne aaj eknaya rule pass kiya hai! smart people ko personality tax pay karna padega aap to safe ho par mera kya hoga...?

A SAD LOVE STORY:

Ek student ko apni classfellw se pyaar ho gaya.

Ladke ne use perpose kiya lekin Ladki ne inkaar kar diya aur teacher ko uski complain kar di.Teacher ne kaafi daanta or ek week k liye class se nikal diya.

Jab ladka ek hafte baad wapis class me gya to ladki ko us se pyar ho gya.

Ladki ne uski kitaab me likha-

"I m sorry & i love u too."

Ladke ne koi response na diya.Isi tarah 4 saal guzar gaye.....

Moral:

LADKE KITAAB HI NHI KHOLTE...

Hame apki wo ada bhut pasand hai, jb aap aaine k samne khade hote ho aur aaine pr ek lota pani dal kr jor se chilate ho,

Nha liye..

ha ha ha

Nha liye..

DIL KO SABSE ZYADA DARD KAB HOTA HAI..

JAB AAP MOBILE CHARGING PR LAGA KR JAYE OR 2 GHANTE BAAD AAKAR DEKHE KI SWITCH BOARD PE BUTTON OFF THA...

Remix of ucha lamba kad-

Ek ucha lamba kutta, sadi gali vich suta, rati thand vich 'bau bau karda ni, oh padosiyo di kutti ute marda ni.... "baoo"baoo"baoo 

KABHI SOCHA HAI KE GARAM tawe pe " popcorns " kyun uchhalte hain ...

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Nahi pata na.? Kabhi khud baithna .. Pata chal jaayega.

Q.How to Kill an Ant?

asked in a xam.

For 8 marks.Btech Stdnt-Mix Chili Powder with Sugar & Keep it outside the Ant's Home.

After eatin Ant wil search for Water..!

Somewhere near a Water Tank.,Push Ant into it..!

Now Ant will go to dry herself near fire,

When It reachs near Fire.

Put a Bomb into Fire.

Then Admit wounded Ant in ICU, Remove Oxygen mask from Its Mouth & kill the Ant.

Humse panga%-)%-)

8 marks k liye hm khudko maar de, cheeti kya cheez

h

Ek Boy Bike Se Ja Raha Tha

Ladki Ko Dekh Achanak Gir Gya

Ladki-Oh My God! Lagi To Nhi

Boy-Are Nhi Re Pagli, HmTo Aise Hi Bike Se Utarte Hai

Auto me couple romance kr rahe the.Autowala dekh rha tha,Aage jaake auto pole se takra gya.Autowala sar patak k bola-Sala ab samjha"Titanic" Q duba tha

Couple film dekhne gae,

bachhe allow nhi the,

Bachhe ko basket me le gye

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Guard:-isme kya h?

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Cpl:-Lunch h.

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Guard:-dhyan se le jao,

DAAL gir rhi hai.. 

2 machhar bike pr ghum rahe the .tabhi hathi ne lift mangi itne mein ek machhar khada hoke bola ,dekhle fir teri maa kahegi ki awara ladko k sath ghoom raha h.

Result agar achha ho toh:

Teacher- hoshiyar bachcha hai

Maa- bhagwaan ki kripa hai

Papa- beta kiska hai

DOST- chal daaru peete hain.

Result agar bura ho toh:

Teacher- padhai mein dhyaan hi nai tha

Maa- aag lage iss mobile ko.

Papa- laad pyar ne bigaad diya. DOST- Chal daaru peete hain.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Duniya badal jaati hai par DOST nahi badalte.

Dard-e-Dil Ki Koi Dawa Nahi Hai

Wah Wah

Dard-e-Dil Ki Koi Dawa Nahi Hai

ACP Says- Daya, Jaldi Niche Utar

Cycle Me Hawa Nahi Hai

Rajasthani aurat ne tej aa rhai bus ko roka

Driver:

kate jano h?

Aurat:

jano to kate hi koni,

bacho royi rio h,zara bus ko poo-poo bajai de

Dad: Wats ur result?

Son: I've failed in 5 subjects.

Dad: From now onwards dont call me Dad.

Son: Oh come on dad! Its my school test not a DNA test.

Mkanmalik: 500 rs.kiraya hoga kiraydar: thek h.pr apk mkan me to chuhe nach rhe h . Malik:to sale 500 me kya sheela nachegi.gd even

1 behra scooter khich k leja raha tha.2nd behra-Kya hua Petrol khatm ho gya kya?1st-Nhi yar, Petrol khatm ho gya.2nd-Acha, mujhe laga Petrol khatm ho GAYA...!