adult jokes

1.Ladki ke inkar karne par Miya Galib ne ek masoom si Ghazal kuch is tarah pesh ki....

Yun humko satane ki zarurat kya thi,

Aur GAND meri jalane ki zarurat kya thi,

Jo nahi tha Ishq Mujhse to keh dia hota,

Apni MA CHUDANE ki zarurat kya thi,

Maloom tha agar ye khuwab toot jayega,

to Neend me aa ke CHUT dikhane ki zarurat kya thi,

Maan bhi loon agar ye ek tarfa mohabbat thi,

To Mujhe dekh kar BEHAN KI LODI muskurane ki jarurat kya thi.. . .

2.PATIALA ki 2 baatein famous hain.

1. Patiala Peg.

2. Patiala Salwaar.

Dono me fark sirf itna hai ki ek chadhne par maza deti hai, to Dusri utarne par...

3.1 pagal roz yehi kehta-Guler banaunga, KABUTAR marunga.

6 mahine pagalkhane me treatment k bad

jate waqt

Dr. ne pucha-Ab kya karoge?

Shadi

Fir?

suhagrat

Gud,Fir?

Uski sari utarunga

Fir?

Blouse utarunga

Oho!Fir?

Bra utarunga

My god,Fir?

Fir kya!

Bra k elastic se

GULER BANAUNGA AUR KABUTAR MARUNGA...! 

4.Ek ladki ka figure:

20 20 20 Dekh k GHALIB ne Arz kiya

"Na Gand hai na seena

"Na Gand hai na seena 

5.Couple in train..

Girl: My head is paining..

Boy kised her head

Girl: My neck is paining..

Boy kised neck

1 Oldman: Beta, loose motions ka b ilaaj krte ho kya?

6.Why is salman khan disturbed these dayz ...

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Coz.....

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Uski girlfrnd jawan ho gayi hai aur bhabhi badnam ..

7. Aurat Dusri Aurat se- KYA TUM SEX KARTE WAQT APNE PATI SE BAT KARTI HO? She Replied- "AGAR UNKA PHONE AATA HAI TOH KAR LETI HU,Aakhir PATI hai wo mere.

8.Sexy Grl goes 2 D Doc with Mom.

Grl :Check-up karana hai.

Doc :Sare kapde utar kar parde ke pichhe ajao.

Grl :Mera nahi mumy ka.

Doc:Mataji jeebh bahar nikalo..

9.Hathi camel se:- Ye bhagwan ne tujhe boobs peeth par kyo diye hain.?

Camel:- Jaa be bhosdike jinke chehre par Lund latakta hai mai usse baat nahi karta....!?!

10.Patni (Gusse me)- Mai ye ghar chhod ke ja rhi hu. Pati- Jana hai to jaldi ja warna gand maar lunga. Patni- Bas apki yehi meethi meethi baatein jane nhi deti..

11.Husband Aur Wife Me Bhyank Jhagra Hogya. Husband Ghusse Say Chilaya: Gaand Phaar DUnga.Wife Boli:Agay Ki To Sochte Nahi,Bus Piche pde rhte ho.

12.Man & LADY started sx in a dark forest, aftr 15min.

Man -"agr torch hoti to mja aa jata".

lady- "mujhe bhi, Qki 15m se tum ghas hi chaat rhe ho."

13.Sadhu Fati Dhoti Pehen K Mandir Me Puja K Liye Jhuka

1Admi Ne GAND Ko Gulak Samaj K 1Sikka Dal Diya

Sadhu Palat K Bola

Ghanti B Bjale MADARCHOD

14.Girlfrnd: ye purse pakdo me abhi aayi. Sardar ne khola usme se rubber ka lund nikla

Gf: Khola to nahi?

Sardar: na ji, purse khol ke gand thodi marwaani he.

15.Pandit ka Tota roz 1 admi ko dekta or bolta

AUR Bhan ke lode

Us admi ne pandit se shikayat ki to pandit ne tote ko daanta...

agle din jb wo admi tote k karib se guzra to tota kuch na bola.

Thoda age ja k us admi ne mud k dekha to tota haste hue bola ..

''SAMAJ TO TU GAYA HI HOGA'"

16.Ek Rape Case Altaf Bhai k Area mein ho gaya.

Altaf Bhai ne Ladke se Poocha Kya kiya tha tumne ?

Boy - Ladki ne khud apne Ghar Bulaya, Main nahi jaa raha tha, Maine Socha Altaf Bhai k Area hai.

Usne apne Kapde uttaare or Kiss karne lagi, Maine socha Altaf Bhai k Area hai.

Usne Taange uppar uthaai, Maine phir Socha Altaf Bhai ka area hai.

Altaf BHAI (Ghusse mein) - Altaf Bhai ki Maa ki Chut, Aage kya hua ?

Boy - Bhai maine bhi yahi Socha or DAAL DIYA.

17.BIWI ko dost ke sath bed per dekh Pati ne dost ko goli maar di. Biwi boli apne gusse ko kabu karo, varna 1 din sabhi dosto se hath dho baithoge....

18.Lady 2 Dr: Thakaan bahut hoti h.

Dr: Sex kitna krti ho.

Ldy: Daily.

Dr: Sunday ko Mat karo.

Ldy: Hey Ram, Sundy ko hi to PATI Ghar hote h, Unhe kaise mana karu.

19.Doctor Mareej ke piche bhag raha tha.. LOG : kya hua..? DOCTOR : 4 Bar aisa hua...MADAR CHOD nasbandi karane aata hai...

BAAL saaf karvake bhag jata hai...

20.Malkin ki 3 panty kho gai to usne apni naukrani pe ilzaam lagaya.To naukrani ro ro k boli saab aap kuch boliye na aap ko to pata hai me niche kuch nahi pehnti. 

21.Bacha kutta kutti ko sex krte dkhta hai aur apne papa se kehta hai.

KID:"PAPA kutta kya kar raha hai?"

Papa:"beta, kutta kutti ko kuch samjha raha hai"

Kid:"par ismain gaand marne ki kya zarurat hai??"

22.Vakil-Behnji us raat Kya Hua Tha?

1st usne Muje Giraya

Fir behnji

Fir Blous Fada

Fr Behnji

Fr Petikot Fada

Fr Behnji

Fir Apki Behn Chud gyi vkil shab.ha

23.Sachche Dost ki 3 nishani.

Ek to Bhosdika kabhi phone nahi karega.

Dusra - Har kaam ke liye haan bolega lekin sala gandu ek din ka kaam dus din mein bhi nahi karega.

Aur teesra,

Ladkiyo ko senti wale sms bhejega aur hume Lauda-Lasun, Choot, bhosda wale sms bhejega.

24.Girl : mai radio ki tarah hu mera 1 nipple tunning hai aur 1 volume

Boy:mai to dono daba raha hu aawaj to nahi aa rahi

Girl : neche cell kya tera baap dalega..

25.Sex ki lagi lagan,Ladki hogaye nagan.

Wo to gali-gali lahnga uthane lagi,

Koi roke use, koi toke use,

Wo to karo-karo chillane lagi

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26.DUSSASAN kaun tha?

Student:-Chutiya tha.

Teacher:- wo kayse?

Student:- Jitna time woh sari khichane me lagaya, sari utha bhi to sakta tha-

27.Teacher class mein apne baby ko d00dh pilate hue boli:

Ale ale mela beta d00dh p k doctor banega.

Pappu: Mam! Thoda hame bhi pila do hum compunder hi ban jayenge

28.1girl to another: kal sapne me mujhe koi chakku se maar raha tha!

2girl: Tu dar mat, agar sapne sach hote to mujhe roz abortion karvana padta

29.Arz hai--Jis din unse diL laga baithe

Tanhai me sukoon ki maa chuda baithe

Wo to kho gayi duniya ki bheed me

Aur hum apne hi jhant me aag laga baithe...

30.

LADKI:CONDOM Dena

DUKANDAR MastiMe: Kis Liye?

LADKI : Tere BAAP Ko GIFT Dungi, Taki Tere Jaisa Dusra CHUTIYA Paida Na Ho

31.

Saas: "Bahu, bura mat manana, lekin mere pote ki shakal mere bete se nahi milti."

Bahu: "Maa ji, meri taangon ke beech choot lagi hai, photocopy machin nahi.

32.

TU dost h mera

Tujh pe jaan waar dunga

Magar jyada uchlega to teri Gaand mar dunga

Tu dikhta hai accha

Tu likhta h accha

Tu padhta h accha

Tu ladta h accha

Tujh se jo panga lega

Uski men phaad dunga

Magar jyada uchlega to teri Gaand mar dunga

Tu maang le jaan

Tu maang le aan

Ladki ka number ho

Ya randi ki gaand

Tere liye sab tere dar pe utar dunga

Magar jyada uchlega to . . . !

hans mt bhosadi k teri gand mar dunga....

 40.

Arz kiya h..

Wah wah....

Bosdi k pehle sun to le..

To arz kiya h...

10 rupye k 12 kele.

10 rupye k 12 kele.

1-1 karke gand me lele. AB BOLE WA WA